Insights for Growth

Miss Manners, Rodney Dangerfield, and a Chatbot Get in a Cage Match: When is AI “human enough” to deserve some respect?

AI Agents: People Like Me?

One of the weirder aspects of living at the dawn of AI-everywhere is the change in meaning of user interface design and user experience. For just about ever, in computing circles, “user” was synonymous with the human interacting with designed systems. But according to the NielsenNorman Group, that’s no longer the case. AI Agents interacting with digital interfaces on their own have upended the meaning of user and with it, how computer systems must be designed to best cater to the different information-gathering capabilities of both humans and AI bots.

When AI Agents start acting in the role of humans (at least in some workflows), do we need to start interacting with them as more than just compiled sequences of ones and zeroes? In other words, do they deserve common courtesy? Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t say please and thank you to my MacBook, my refrigerator, my TV, or my car (okay, maybe I do say a little thank you to my 2009 Civic when it still starts on a cold winter day). But here’s the point: these are pieces of technology; inanimate objects with no soul. So why, oh, why would we say please and thank you to AI chatbots?

No Respect, No Respect.

Rodney Dangerfield’s iconic lament notwithstanding, the bots have nothing to complain about. According to a Pew Research survey in 2019, more than 50% of Americans said please when talking to their smart speaker — and Alexa is far from some kind of Superintelligence. By 2025, 70% were claiming they are polite when they use AI. A YouGov survey of over 12,000 people across 17 countries found that more than 43% of AI users regularly said please and thank you to their chatbot. Interestingly, in the YouGov survey, humans from the U.S., Denmark, and Sweden were the least polite, with 40%+ rarely or never exchanging pleasantries with their AI tools. India, Mexico, and the UAE topped the list for courtesy, with 50%+ saying please and thank you.

When it comes to human-to-human interactions, however, we extend courtesy to our fellow homo sapiens much less often than we do to our AI creations. As recently as 2024, Social Psychology Quarterly reported that adults typically only said please about 6% of the time when conversing with other adults about something they were requesting. That may say more about our prospects for long-term survival than the rise of an all-knowing AI Superintelligence does, but it’s a topic for another blog post. The TLDR of it all is that we’re not a very cordial lot these days, but we're nicer to AI than each other.

Politeness Might Be a Generation Thing

You might be tempted to think it’s the young whipper-snappers who are the most rude to AI, but you'd be wrong. Spoiler: It's grandpa. The Boomer Generation is the least likely to say please and thank you to AI (only 39% say they do). Sadly, there’s no data yet as to how many Boomers yell “Get off my lawn!” at their chatbot. As you go down the line, the generations who have grown up with technology and AI are increasingly polite towards our future overlords: 44% of GenXers say they are polite, 52% of Millennials say they are, and over 56% of GenZ users feel their AI bot deserves politeness. I guess the kids actually are alright. Ignoring for a second the rude-ish GenXers like myself, why are some people on their best behavior with AI?

Politeness for the Heck of It

Sometimes the best reason to do anything is no reason at all, or to quote Major Frank Burns from M*A*S*H: “It's nice to be nice to the nice.” A survey by Talker Research seems to bear this out with a variety of similar responses on why they use manners with AI:

• “It’s just my way” (68%)
• Everyone deserves to be treated with manners, whether human or not (29%)
• AI deserves to be spoken to politely (48%)

Politeness As a Hedge Against Annihilation

While many humans apparently view their manners towards AI through an altruistic lens (or cynically understand that politeness will most likely be met with syncophantic politeness in return), a sizeable minority thinks it's best to mind your P's and Q's around AI…lest you be marked for destruction. Twelve percent of one survey’s respondents said that they are nice to AI in case of a robot uprising, in the hopes that they will be spared. Well, I have news for them: when they come, the T-1000 robots will be undiscriminating, regardless of how often you were super nice to ChatGPT.

Whether it’s your generational vibe or you’re covering all of your apocalyptic bases, there may be still another reason for you to be kind to AI: saying please and thank you to chatbots costs the AI companies tens of millions of dollars. OpenAI CEO, Sam Altman, has admitted as much, estimating that it can add up to significant expenses in electricity. Even generating a single AI-written response, like a short email, can use as much as 0.14 kilowatt-hours of energy (enough to power several LED lightbulbs). Piling on the please and thank you tokens just adds to the bill. So if you want an excuse to be impolite to your AI Agent, tell everyone you’re saving the planet from the tech bros.

Does any of this resolve whether it’s right to be polite to your AI chatbot or not? No, but one thing is certain: when you’re seeking fractional marketing resources to support your startup growth, you can always expect a polite response from MannPower Marketing & Design. Contact us today.